Back to work

It's back to work for me tommorrow.. =(


Even tho I'm not fully recovered, infact my cough has gotten worse, but.. what to do..
Being so so close to getting my diploma, i don't wanna screw up anything. 5 1/2 years is a long time to wait..



I guess once I'm back in that hell-hole, i will just have to try my best to bear with it for another 9 weeks. After that, total freedom!!! Wahahaha


But of course i shall have to get a job fast. What's the point of having total freedom, but having no money to do anything you want? Hehehe.. I think i will work as a relief teacher for awhile. I wonder how that would be like? Screaming kids, canteen food.. *Cringes* I still have time to decide, so i shall think things thru.


Office work just won't do it for me.


Anyway, I still have to jump over this present hurdle, before i can contemplate what my future holds.

Est-ceci que vous appelez l'amitié ? *Edited*

I can croak like a frog. So i guess that means my throat is slightly better?


Thanks Suyin, for your concern.. It's funny how often you are the one there for me, even tho you are so busy. Even tho you have to fly here and there. yet, when i need someone, you are the one who messages me with concern.

I appreciate it alot.

-post edited-

No point dwelling.. It does me no good at all.



What doesn't break you, makes you stronger.

Danse Macabre *Dance of Death* Melancholic Meanderings

Life sets you up for big disappointments.


I'm not talking about small stuff. But those do count as well.. Too many small failures = a huge failure.


In life, as you grow up, meet new people, make new friends, gain a family member or 2, lose some as well, at some point or another, you have to learn to trust somebody. Be it your flesh and blood, or friends. It's mostly based on trust and honesty and love. Without such, these relationships would be meaningless.


I feel that these people who are closest to you, who love you so much.. May actually never see, when you need them most.


My mama doesn't really believe in depression. At least, in most cases she feels it's just people wanting more attention. Which is true, to a certain extent. But it's those same people who want, but don't get, attention that really become depressed. That's the way i think.


I am not an attention seeking whore. Have never been, i feel.. Most of the time i fade into the woodwork while my more vivacious friends are in the spotlight. To me, the attention of strangers or people i do not know well, mean nothing. I don't lack of it, or crave it.


But i want attention from the people who claim to love me, to be there for me when i need them. Why is it they can never see me screaming out for them? I may cover it up well, i have been covering up for a long time. But can't the cracks in my veneer be seen?


A simple request, is actually not just a simple request if i keep pushing and pushing. Why do you think i do? Because i don't feel like myself, and i need someone. Can't you see??


Must i paint it in RED dripping letters? I can't scream it from the rooftops coz i've got no voice. Must i break down in front of you and beg? Sometimes, even begging is not enough.


Not having a voice, not being able to talk, is killing me. Feeling this kinda anguish but yet, not being able to express it verbally, is torture.


I dunno what to say, I feel sick, tired, like I'm wasting my life away. These few days, without him, without most, makes me feel isolated.


Sure, I'm home with my mama and sis, but they don't see. Albeit, my mama has been very nice to me, coz I'm sick. But maternal concern is not always enough.


I'm sure at one point or another, we feel that no one understands us. But if you have someone there for you, things look better.


I'm not a bitch. An unreasonable person. But sometimes i wish that i could mold my world and the people in it, the way i want it to be. I think everyone would like to do that as well.


I'm sick of these episodes. They leave me feeling extremely emotional and vulnerable. Weak and lethargic. As i have said before.. It makes me want to do dangerous things. Dammit!
It's not about attention. it's about the people close to you being able to see.


Why do people end their own lives? Because of overwhelming stress? Problems? BGR issues? Family matters? Maybe they could have been saved if the people around them had noticed, cared, tried to do something about it? Maybe, maybe not..



Who am I to presume,
What makes or breaks a man
I am but human
I take what life has to offer
I try to give it back sometimes
But life hurts
Living
Tediously
On the edge
Of the abyss



I used to think the best way to die was, in your sleep, without any pain.
I have since changed my mind.
Jumping off a high cliff would be nice.
At least, you get to fly before you die. *Splat!*



Do not be mistaken, my family cares for me alot. Even if they don't see me that well. I'm talking about other relationships. Friendships. To me, a good friend knows you the best. Because you can confide in them certain things that you can't tell your family. Why can't i depend on them? Why?



I am NOT suicidal, do not be alarmed with the tone of this post. I will not suddenly jump off from the Westin or something.


I'm just feeling really low, down and vulnerable at the moment. In a melancholic mood. Fuck


*Shakes head*


It would have been a great night to go clubbing. I needed some distraction. But, I'm stuck at home.

I have other friends. But i don't want them to feel obliged to keep me company.

I could have gone with Mel. He for one, is very nice to me and will seldom turn me down. But for what purpose? He does not know me well enough. In the mood I'm in, he won't know how to handle me. Better not.


*The opportunity slips away*


Not being able to speak is a good excuse for not wanting to speak.



Strike me down
Pick me up
Let me die
Let me rot
Burn a hole
In the ground
Dump a body
Dance around

** The Dance of Death
we always do
for the ones we love
and i love you...



Nice? *shiversss* In a very macabre frame of mind.

Can i turn that into a song? Hmmmmm... *thinks*


What the fuck, i am sprewing nonsense. Don't mind me.

La fille sans une voix

Woo Yay!!! Yes! I got another 2 days MC!!! Wahahaha.. so that means a long weekend for me.. It's really just too bad that he has field camp this week.. =(



I really wanna go clubbing tonight. It's the opportune moment. Coz i don't need to work tommorrow. I have already msged her to reconsider. But no reply yet.



I know good friends are hard to find. And you cannot always expect people to cater to you. But i think sometimes, some exceptions should be made. I appreciate all that you have done for me, and i don't wanna take you for granted. So if you still decide not to go.. That's fine, just don't be so abrupt and short. But i hope you have a better reason then yesterday. And I will not hog the time you and him can spend together. So tommorrow you won't even hear a whisper from me. =p


You should know that i can't always be taking MC for saturdays. So.. well, aside from not having any voice i think i'm up to it.



ANyway, the doc said that my voice box is infected. Got infected by my throat (2 separate things)So i have to rest up, drinks lotsa H2O and i should not talk! It will take a few days to recover. And a while longer to recover fully. Oh my... cannot talk??!!! That's like asking a fish not to swim, a bird not to fly, and bee not to sting. It's like telling, Pooh not to eat honey, Eeyore to be happy, the Incredible Hulk to turn blue.. You get the idea.. I'm a talkative person, so i guess that's the best punishment i can be given for not taking care of myself. =(



What to do.. Cannot be helped.. Just have to bear with it and spend the next few days whispering.. -bleahx-



So farnie, i went to MacDonald's after seeing the doc, to buy lunch.. Since i couldn't speak, i typed it out in my handphone, "Double cheeseburger meal, plain, upsize, take away. +sweet chilli sauce" Lolx, too bad the lady couldn't read properly, so she asked a guy to read it *Red face* Then they informed me that lunch has not started!! Sheesh.. I had to order breakfast items in my sexy whispery voice! How embarrassing.. -pouts-

(Yes, i know i shouldn't be eating greasy oily food, but I'm feeling kinda down.. =/ so i need to pig out ) (^00^)"



I still have yet to start on my report.. But after looking at the sample report, i have no mood to do it at all. The blardy person's report was like 40 pages long!!! -heart sinks- Have to do it sooner or later.. I choose later.. Anyway, I'm on MC!! Tee hee hee (^-^)V

Disappointment *Update*

Haiz.. Back to the daily grind for me..


And to top things off, i have lost my voice.. Must be because of the KTV session yesterday.. Which i did enjoy, even tho i couldn't sing properly.. =p


I didn't manage to repair my camera, coz i was running late.. But i have completed my weekly report! Just completed this morning.. Hehehe.. At least there is now one thing less i need to do.. -smiles-


Anyway, I'm very disappointed with someone. You know who you are.. Why are you like that? Ask me to confirm earlier then in the end still say cannot. Last week i already made tentative plans le. So why didn't you prepare for it? Instead, last minute after i have told you the plan, you say you cannot.


Please don't ask me to make a decision earlier, if you don't intend to follow anyway. It's like, you promise me something, but in the end you didn't keep your promise.


I will get over it, i always do.. But it saddens me.. You know this is not the first time.. and you know how rarely i get this opportunity. Do you know why i say go today even tho tommorrow i have to work? So that tommorrow you can accompany him instead. You won't need to divide your time.


It's not about you not having the money. It doesn't have to be clubbing you know.. It doesn't have to be there. But the fact that you just say cannot go, and leave it at that. You did not even bother to suggest any alternatives.


Enough said.. -sighz-

___________________________________________________________________

Update:


I have decided to go see the doctor again. My throat is killing me!! I just hope that the sups at work don't think I'm just trying to skive off.. Haiz..


It's too bad that i got sick this week. I was planning on falling sick next week, when he comes back. So that i can spend more time with him.. Well *shrugs* that's just too bad then...


I hope the doc gives me another 2 days MC. But at the same time i feel that i really should be going to work.. *headache* I don't like taking so many days off, when it's only been the 2nd week..


Damn! Why did i have to fall sick????

Fille dans le centre

I'm going out today! Hehehe.. Meeting Mel for a KTV session, coz i have not gone for ages.. Even tho my throat hasn't recovered yet, but sweet Mel actually went to get an MC so that we can go today.. =)



Going to get my camera repaired 1st. 5 days without it! Haiz.. how am I going to survive? Even tho, i do not take pictures everyday and now that I'm working at that hell-hole, I don't bring it with me all the time. But without knowing it's in my bag or at home, i feel really weird and insecure.. Damn, I'm getting queer.. =/


Anywayz, what to do... I should get it repaired asap and get it over and done with..



The 2 reports which I'm supposed to do weighs heavily on my mind.. But i just can't bring myself to do them. -bleahx-



Argh!!! I got a huge zit on my chin and my stomach is cramping like hell!! Plus not being fully recovered, i feel abit like death warmed over!! Hope the cramps won't get too bad.. =(



Cheerio, hope you peeps enjoy your day too!!

Sick leave *Wahahaha* I'm so happy!

Yay!!!! I got 2 days MC!!! *waves MC above head while doing a funky victory dance around the room*

Phew.. so i get another day to laze around =) Must spend it wisely, by pigging out in front of the TV, using the computer until late at night (tommorrow no need to work ma.. hehe), and well, basically while my time away doing nothing important. Muahahaha *evil grinz*



Anyway, I saw something interesting..

Get this, it's actually a model. OMG!!! Fan-fucking-tastic work man!!! It even has the interior all done up. the picture is not clear tho..

I envy people who can make models from scratch. I would love to be able to make a model of my dream house, and do all the interior designing and landscaping. *Envy*



It's so nice to have the time to update my blog whenever i want too. =)

Malade et boudeur

I am sick again... Caught the same bug as before.. *Sighz* Anyway, the only good thing to come out of this, is i get to skip work and get an MC. Haven gotten it yet tho, i went down to see the doctor at 12:25, and he had already left. So i have to go at 2 again. I'm hoping to get an MC for tommorrow as well.. *Cross fingers*



Anyway, I've got so many things to do, but no time to do it. My weekly report, project report, repair my camera, catch up with friends, clean my room, etc etc... Haiz.. I have be procrastinating..But i just can't find the drive to pick myself up and complete some of the tasks. -pouts-



Have to do the reports soon, in fact i have to do the weekly report today and send it to my LO. Sianzzzzzz...



I dunno how am i going to get thru another 10 weeks of this blardy attachment. Suyin is right, it does look like a hell-hole.. -bleahx-



I wanna go clubbing this weekend, but if i go on Friday, i still have to go to work on Saturday. And if i go on Saturday, i still have to wake up early for church on Sunday. If only i did not have to work on Saturday!! *Grrrr Grrrr*



I feel fat, sick and bored. Getting very depressed. I wanna go out, but I'm too lazy and too tired.. Argh!!!



Please give me an MC for tommorrow as well.. Please please....



I miss him so so much.. =(

Mon Nouvel Amour

I want him

To have

and to hold

To take care of

To cherish

To understand

and feel

To make him love me
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I love love love him...


-D!siLLus!on3d falls-

*Hard*

Torturer la chambre

Finally finally finally.. An update.. Haiz.. attachment is burning me out.. I wake up at 5 or 6 plus everyday.. Coz i gotta eat my breakfast =/ And trudge thru the whole day.. Knock off at 6 and reach home at 7 plus (the earliest)


The first 3 days i QC-ed ballasts. I spent hours removing the cover, checking the components, replacing the cover. And after all of that, testing of ballasts using a power something or another. 13 cartons. 40 ballasts in each carton. 13 x 40 = 520 ballasts!!!!


The subsequent days i was taught to repair ballasts. At least that was slightly more interesting.. But so so dirty and dusty. I have inhaled so much burnt solder until my lungs are probably lined with solder and today i had a huge headache!!


Friday and Saturday we had to help sort out and throw out alot alot of rubbish. They will be moving into a different premise in September. Oh, my!!!! The amount of stuff and components that were thrown out! All the colourful capacitors and resistors, etc, etc.. Such a waste to throw them all out.. I did salvage some stuff.. Hehehehe


I feel so so tired after work everyday... The ride home saps all the energy right out of me... And to be paid peanuts.. *Grrrr*


The only brighter spot is being able to meet my mama on the way home everyday. =) But only til the end of this month coz she's going to be on the early shift next month. Anywayz, thank you mama for providing an ear to complain in and for spoiling me.. Hehehe.. She bought lots of biscuits and sachet drinks for me to bring to work.. *hugz*



So I'm sure you all must be wondering what a horrible place i'm attached too right? I finally snapped a few pix for evidence..

My life now revolves around ballasts



These are what i look at and handle everyday..



For testing..




My current workspace for repairing




The place of torture..



This was when we were clearing the old stuff..

I did not exaggerate.. Just look at the place.. This is their R&D department. At least the Superiors are okai.. Oh ya, the guy is Jeremy.. My attachment mate.. =p



I'm getting fatter.. I eat a full breakfast because i do not want my stomach to growl when I'm at work. I eat so much lunch. And i eat a heavy dinner. Lots of fried food! Argh!!! Seriously constipated!! -bleahx- =x and now I'm getting a bad sore throat.. =(


___________________________________________________________________


On to nicer things.. I spent the weekend with my baby. He booked out early on Saturday, so he wanted to come and fetch me. My workplace is in an uloo location, so he said he would pick me up from the nearest MRT station (Lakeside) So sweet right???..


He was 50 minutes late.. Haiz.. But it's the thought that counts. Anyway, we went to Jurong Point for lunch and walked around awhile.. Wanted to catch a movie, but there was nothing particularly interesting. In the end, we left in a hurry because the sky turned really dark..


Yes, we got caught in the rain.. =/ So anywayz, we spent a quiet Saturday together..



Sunday was one of highlights of my week!! Because of this...

Awwwwwwww..........

Isn't that the sweetest thing??

This is Blackie.. He is a pup from my baby's brother-in-law's workplace. They brought him home for the day..

I fell in love with him.. He was so so afraid and trembly.. Partially because of Baby's nephews' and niece's loud voices.. and he peed.. twice!! Lolx.. On the floor.. After that he became frisky.. He started chewing on his ball and tried to nibble on toes and fingers.. Hahaha.. He is so so lovable!! So adorable!! After all the excitement wore off, he fell asleep (-_-)Zzzzz The little cutie!!! But all good things must come to an end.. We had to leave, coz my baby had to book in..

Doesn't that just tug at your heartstrings??

I wonder if I will get to see Blackie again? *Cross fingers*


He will be on a field camp for a week, starting tommorrow. I will miss him so so so much!!!



Je veux un chiot ! ! Quelqu'un me donne un chiot s'il vous plaît. ...

La dépression règle dans.

I'm feeling depressed.. For everyone else, they will be planning what to do tonight, after finally getting through the first week of attachment. But for me, I still have to work tommorrow!!! So no life!!


Haiz.. The place is dirty and dusty. I did testing of ballasts (something that turns on fluorescent lights) for the first 3 days. The ballasts and boxes are so so dusty.. My fingers turned black. Yesterday i did repairing of ballasts. At least it was more interesting, but even more dusty. The spoilt ballast seem to have been left there for months! Maybe they keep all these "Sai gang" for attachment students..


The other attachment student is Jeremy, also from my school.. He had a better job to start with.. Had to draw their floor plans, and he has to help them change their webby. But the last 2 days he has been doing stocktake. According to him, it is kinda of sucky as well..


Gripe gripe gripe... I do not like the place. It only has 2 stalls in the canteen leiz.. Malay and chinese food. Everyday, can only choose between this 2.. And i always eat a huge plate of food for lunch. Factory worker man size serving. I'm going to get fat!


I try to be more positive, but it's hard. Being seriously constipated does not help at all!! -bleahx-


But I am proud of one thing, I have not been late after the first day! =) The first day i was late, only because i waited for the bus for 20 minutes..


I wake up at 5 plus or 6 plus everyday.. So tiring.. So boring... Why do i have to work tommorrow???? -wails-


Haiz.. No time le, have to go get ready, eat breakfast, etc..


I'm so suffering from sleep deprivation. I don't have a single day i can sleep in anymore!! Damn the company!



Je vraiment me sens déprimé. Je déteste traite le samedi !




P/s: I think my posts will be alot more whiney for the next 3 months. So please bear with it =/

Seriously underpaid

I just started my attachment yesterday. It kinda sux. And it has a 5 1/2 day work week.


Enough said.


P/s: Will try to update when i can.

Btw, Suyin.. I msged you last night when i got home, forgetting that your msges all got corrupted. Thanks alot! For everything. My mama is very touched that you would say such a nice thing (Her still looking the same...). And the biscuits are wonderful! -hugz-

La maladie m'a pris.

Poor me, i really got sick. Am sick.. The weather doesn't help, being all wet and cold. Haiz.. I've got the chills coz of my fever, but my flu is better then yesterday. I was so sick yesterday that i took a cab home right after my presentation ended.

Anyway, the presentation sucked! The evaluator didn't even seem interested in listening. =/

Still gotta go to school later, to return the tools to my sup and what nots. Argh!!!!

I'm sure people are curious about how my project actually looks. Let me show you..

First i had to saw my PCB board into a smaller piece. Small enough to fit into my mug. That was hard work man, i sawed til my hands were are red..

I used this

To saw it to this size

Lousy saw!

So, i started to solder my components to my PCB board. Then i started on the mug itself. I intended to use clay, and that was what i did..

Looks like what a caveman would use.. lolx.. I did not fix on the handle yet, because i had to embed my sensor into the handle. Sensor and switch.

But when i woke up the next day and looked at it, i found it really really ugly. So.. change of plans.. I decided to use a plastic container instead.

My final product, made from scratch.. Using a plastic container for the body, transparencies cut and glued together for the base, and a plastic hose for the handle.

The handle gave me alot alot of problems. The hose was not flexible enough, and nothing could stick it to the container. I tried superglue, UHU glue, silicon! In the end, i used epoxy putty.. That's why it looks kinda crappy.

You can see the sensor and switch in the handle. I like that about my mug. You can see all the components. Very high tech design.. Hehehe..

The other components are in the base of the mug.

The function of this mug is to cater to the needs of the visually impaired. When the liquid being poured in, reaches a certain level (Where the sensor is) the sensor will trigger the buzzer to sound. No more overfilling or spills. Yay!!!


All in all, i am very happy with my prototype. If only it worked! Definitely something wrong with the sensor. Haiz...

Kill me

After soldering everything, tucking in all the loose ends, making sure the mug looks presentable, and finally the moment came for me to try out my Intelligent Mug.. *Drrrrrrr.....* Drumroll... =) KNNCCB!!! IT DOESN'T WORK!!!!! @$#@%%&**(%^#$%@#%^&()@$^*&^)()#$#!#%^&%(!#)%*^_%@%$^**(*!!!!!!!!!!!!



All my hard hard work gone to waste.. Dammit!!! I think the sensor is rendered useless because of all the tugging of wires.. Maybe there is a loose connection? I cannot see any other fault. I check and double, triple checked the circuit.



It still doesn't work! Haiz.. Should have just anyhow do. At least last night the circuit worked fine.. After fitting everything into the mug then spoil.



I never thought that it would play me in this way.. I was hoping and hoping.. But no miracles.


Damn

Je deviens fou !

It's killing me!


Haiz.. I still have not completed my prototype. Nothing i have tried so far can adhere the handle to the container. I have been stuck with this problem since 9 plus!


I still have to do my presentation materials. How can I finish on time?


Serves me right for not doing anything earlier. Even tho, he only passed me all the stuff last week. And the switch yesterday. -bleahx-


As a last resort, i am now using epoxy putty to stick on the handle. Please please work!!


I am so getting sick. My throat is sore, and I'm getting the flu. I don't think i will be getting any sleep tonight again. Argh!!!! Can't wait to get over with it!


Please let me pass...


P/s: This is what happens when you try to do 12 weeks of work, in 2 days. Impossible?!! We shall see.. I hope not..

L'amour est si compliqué.

Happy Happy Birthday!! Mon seul aimer...

Love... *Kiss*

Hunky Dory

-Image removed-
Due to issues of privacy, i have decided to remove this image. Those who got to see it, lucky you. I feel that, i want to keep my baby secret for now. =)

Botak Baby and me @Chinatown

The first pic i with my baby's face.. =) Abit blur because of my handshake. That's what smoking does to you -bleahx-



L'amour est si compliqué. Pourtant si simple. Si seulement nous pourrions tout amour et sommes aimés, comme un enfant. Fier, l'ensemble chaleureuxment, sans la question.

(Love is so complicated. Yet so simple. If only we could all love and be loved, like a child. Trusting, whole heartedly, without question.)

-0blique out-

Fantastique Quatre - F4

Went to watch F4 on Saturday.


No... no the teeny booper boy band F4... -Eww- I caught them,

The movie was pretty good.. Altho the ending was abit too rushed, and sort of an anti-climax for me..



Was surfing the web, and i found some pictures if the original F4.

Hahaha.. They look so geeky as compared to the new F4. Of course, having killer bods like Evans and Alba helps alot! -smirks-

Alba is the Invisible Girl



Evans is the Human Torch

Woot!! Yummy.. -leers- anyway, i give it 4 popcorns!



Before that, we met up with Hanyong for dinner at Chinatown. We went to this chinese "restaurent" to eat. Oh my.. we ordered a huge load of food!! Ate til our stomachs almost burst!

We had shui jiao soup, tender white chicken, claypot duck, fresh prawns and oyster sauce vegetables. -burps- Not bad la.. but $70 for this dinner is abit steep tho..

The place had this cute little teapot on the table..

Guess what is it for...
.
.
.
.

Black Soy sauce!!! Hehehe

Well, the day didn't go as planned actually.. We wanted to eat the International buffet at Marina square, but the roads were closed. So my baby didn't know how to get there. That's why we went to Chinatown.

Wanted to go KTV, but only the 2 of us coz Hanyong had to leave. That's why we watched F4. But all in all, it was okai. Not much of a celebration at all for my babe. But he really likes the helmet i bought him.

He actually said i shouldn't buy such a nice one, coz he is afraid it will get scratched or stolen. He took it everywhere we went that day! -smiles- Well, I'm glad you like it baby!

See my Hunky Dory Babe! With his Super Cool Evo 2 M Fizz helmet!

The picture is too dark, coz my i can't use my flash. Haiz.. have to get it repaired soon, but it will be out of commision for 5 days! How am I supposed to do without my cam for 5 days?? -sighz-

My Uncle's flowers have bloomed. Aren't they beautiful!!!

Nature is so amazing!!! Such beauty can come from a simple, ugly seed.. -Grinz- I guess people are the same. -bleahx-



Countdown to final presentation = 3 days

I still have not done any hands on yet!

-Darn-

Jones dans l'action

Went to Jones's Showcase at DxO just now.

He has quite a good voice and is quite a good mimic as well. Hehehe.. I felt abit out of place , coz I'm not a fan. First time hearing him sing. So when the fans started cheering and chanting, i was left out. Hahaha

Basically i went coz i got free tickets. So why not? it was okai, short and sweet. With a free poster as well -smiles-

Got lots and lots of pix and some videos, for Yilin and her friends. =) For my mama as well.. If only i knew how to host a video on my blog.



Anywayz, I'm meeting my baby tommorrow! Having a mini birthday celebration, maybe gonna try the International Buffet thing at Marina. -yummy- I'm still thinking how am I going to hide his present from him when i go over tommorow. Under my top?? Lolx!!



FYP: I got a heavy load dumped on me by my sup today. I have to do the PCB design, solder, etc etc.. and show it to him on monday. Thursday is the final presentation!! -Die- Headache headache..



Will post some pix and what nots soon. I'm too tired to do it now, and both my batteries are flat! Can you imagine how many pictures and videos i took?



I wish i was thin. Haiz... Je me sens si gros !

Les photographies montrent des émotions - Photo Blog Entry

I found my pictures! I almost forgot about something.. The flash of my camera is spoilt!! I'm so sad =( I never use the flash, but it will come in handy for behind the glass shots. So I 've got to get it repaired asap.




Anyway..

This was what i wore to MU on Sat. So casual right? Not sexy or anything, dunno why still can get picked up. Hahaha

Like my yellow beads?




Artistic shot. I like this kinda effect.






Shots of Seletar.
It was really quiet. A nice place to go and chill on weekdays.
Weekends will be crowded.




Reminds me of a landing strip.





TP's bike! Really cute design =p




I love the Arai Icon, Kawaii ne!!

Have not uploaded today's pictures. I just realised that i forgot to take shots of the yummy food i ate with Wenlie. So sad.. All in our tummies now. Hehehehe

Oh ya, i wore my Adidas tee again.. It's so comfy!

Gotta go to school later. I really have to do something about it before i hang myself with my own rope.

Another sleepless night.. No wonder my face is breaking out! -blah-

Une image peint mille mots

Have been feeling very lethargic recently. Lazy to blog.. Hehehe..

For me, a picture paints a thousand words.. But the hassle of uploading the pix to photobucket, editing, etc.. Is so time consuming, so i would rather not blog until i'm in the mood to do it properly. =)



Monday, met up with my baby after school. Went for a sumptious Thai dinner with his sister's family, then caught Initial D at Junti8n.

It wasn't as funny as expected. Lolx.. My friends exaggerated abit.. -bleahx- But it was quite funny la. Entertaining. The race scenes were quite well done. Overall i give it 4 popcorns!! I liked the way Jay played his character, Edison looked yummy as usual and Shawn Yue.. What can i say? Cool, but i prefer him without the blardy moustache. Hahaha



After that, we met up with his Bunkies for frog leg porridge!

I can't believe that i actually learn how to eat frog legs. I used to go Ewwwww.... And stubbornly refuse to even try. But my babe got me to taste it the first time i went with him. And i was surprised at how tender it was. Altho i will never suggest going to eat it, i don't mind la.

Felt like going Ktv, but it was already 1 plus, and his buddy was tired. We ended up going to Seletar. It was a weekday, so.. It was boring.. =/ His buddy seems likes a nice guy.. =p They talked and i listened lohx. I'm shy around strangers.. Hehe

My baby was rather sweet to me the whole way, he held my hand -blush- and at one point when they had to go buy 2T, he came back with a winnie the pooh set of a mug and cookies.. -Awwww- Mmuackz, thank you baby!!

I only got home at 4 plus!!! Yes, my mama wasn't happy.. She's actually threatening to reinforce a curfew..Can you believe that??!



Moving on, today i didn't go to school again.. =( Suyin woke me up at 7 to go for a run. I asked her to go running with me coz i was feeling flabby and blah.

Oh my.. I'm so so physically unfit! My chest was burning and i was huffing and puffing. My babe was hardly breaking a sweat! I guess i can't blame anyone but myself. i have not exercised since secondary school. That's about 6 years ago!!

Anyway, had a nice healthy breakfast at her place then i went home. Was hoping to go KTV, but in the end i met Wenlie instead, coz i had an errand to run.

I got my baby his birthday prezzie!! Part of it, a large part. I hope he likes it.. I got the number of his buddy from him last night. And i messaged TP and coerced him to help me out abit. Thank you TP!! -smiles- And thanks to Wenlie for bringing me there, putting up with my indecisiveness and the yummilicious dinner!

Now I'm home, updating my blog in the most simple way. Just a run down of what happened this few days..

Time for pix!!



Damn! I can't find all the pictures i uploaded into my computer this morning. Too bad.. Ask my sis about it tommorrow, maybe she moved them..

Il ne m'apprécie pas

I went to Music Underground on Saturday. It was.... ok i guess. Only because i was there to dance, and not to appreciate the music they play.


I was deceived by Yilin. Hmph! (No denying it gal) Coz she told me it was RnB mixed with some Techno. Actually, it was Techno mixed with a wee bit of RnB (About 1 hr of RnB only) So i was disappointed with the music.


Since, my motive was purely to dance, i did the best i could under the circumstances. Being really out of touch with all the new techno songs, I couldn't do MHMs (Multiple hand movements) And we all know that u really need MHMs to dance to Techno music. Hahahaha..


Had a good laugh at the cheesy lines the guys there uses. "Ke yi geng ne tiao wu ma?" (Can i dance with you), "Wo de peng you xiang yao ren shi ni" (My friend would like to get to know you) It wouldn't have sounded as bad in English, but in Chinese!! Lolx! and those were small kids, as in younger then me.. Do i look so young that small boys try to pick me up?

Lucky i don't have Huiling's pick-me-up face.. Hehehe.. If she had gone, she would have been bombarded with such offers!! -grinz-


And MU has bar top dancing.. *bleahx* No offense, some of the gals are babes and do dance quite well. But others *eye sore* lolx. Fleshy bodies gyrating on the bar top, using the poles, Doing obscene moves, swinging their asses and flashing their boobs. Hahaha.. sort of like, free show for the guys. quite a few girls wear very short skirts to dance on the bar top, use your imagination....


Overall, it was just ok. Nothing to write home about. Interesting enough to blog about. That's about it!

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I'm in school now, will be meeting my baby later. Still procrastinating about what to do about my FYP. Haiz..




I had to pass my babe his ATM card just now. Made me wait for like 25 minutes, wasted my cab fare. hmph! And the first thing he said to me was, "wei se mo ni dai na ge lian? Hen chou" (why did you wear that necklace? it's very ugly) Fuck That's the first thing he said to me when he saw me. Can you believe it? Yes, i have always known that he doesn't appreciate my dress sense, my style. That's why i no longer dress as i used too, very very rarely.. Even my accessories are toned down. But i love my beaded necklaces (I was wearing my yellow beads) and i don't see why he has to make me feel insulted rhe moment he sees me.


It makes me feel bad about myself. He could have put it more tactfully. Or jus say he doesn't like it, when i ask him. (I always ask) It just ruined my mood. To him, it was just being honest. But i have not seen him for more then a week, and is this the opening he came up with.


Our styles just don't click. It makes me sad.. I would like my guy to appreciate how i look and dress. Appreciate it because ,it is part of who I am.

Danser la nuit loin

Met up with Yilin yesterday. We went over to her place for lunch (Instant noodles with lots of "liao")and did alot of rubbish stuff. Listened to songs, browsed Friendster, trying on clothes, blah blah blah..



Did i mention how much i love my green beads? Haha..

It's my favourite accessory at the moment.



Look what we found at a local supermarket..

What a laugh!!

The World is a Village??? what kind of Slogan is that? -bleahx-



So i was feeling really really woozy from not sleeping again. And i had a pick-me-up, a big big glass of it.. This is my poison most of the time..

*OOohhhh... Refreshing..*

It's Coke Cola, not Planet Cola. We decided not to take a risk. Hahaha



Had a good time crapping with her and her brother as well. Especially when we were on Friendster.. yes, gossiping and bitching.. looking at cute guys, etc.. =x oops! Hahaha.. Les filles seront des filles

Planning on going clubbing today. she wants to go Music Underground.

I have only been there once, the Wine Bar area, with the live band. So I don't know how the dance club scene is like. Hopefully it will not be all techno. yilin has assured me that they play RnB as well.. *Cross fingers*

My other friends have given it bad reviews.. Lolx.. For me, i will reserve my judgement until i have tried it.




My baby isn't booking out today. So sad.. Some SAF thingy or whatever. So monday then i will get to see him. I'm pleasantly surprised that after since he has gone in.. He has called me every single night. Well, he only missed one night, but that's ok..

Before enlistment, we used to talk about it. And he would tell me, that he probably wouldn't call me much. Maybe it's because PTP is not so busy, or stressful. But I am very very happy that he makes the effort. -smiles-




I really don't know what to do about my FYP. Haiz... It's there, at the back of my mind, niggling at me.. I just don't wanna face it head-on yet. Even though i have no time left. I wish it would just go away...

Wellz, i can hope, can't I?

Le gel de mon âne de

Damn

I'm in my lab, freezing my butt off, trying to figure out how to proceed with my FYP.

I have come to a dead end. I just managed to get my supervisor on the phone. Tried to get him to cut me some slack, and help me climb over the driver circuit hurdle. But he just refuses to give enough of a damn. Fuck!

Even a simple question about the pins of the transistor went unanswered. "I can't tell you everything you know, you have to find out yourself" -pui- fucking hell He has barely told me anything that can help. He expects me to find out myself, but i have already tried my best! What else can i do. "Orh, okai" was all i could reply.

I am in deep shit. And i probably won't be able to crawl out of this cesspool unless he gives me a hand. No hand is forthcoming.

Dammit! I'm leaving at noon. And tommorrow, I'm going clubbing to dance my stress away!!! -Fuck my FYP-

Chienne malsaine

I'm probably going to school without sleeping at all last night, again.

Oh my.. I'm so unhealthy now, i reek of it! No sleep. don't drink enough water. Well, at least i bathe regularly. (2-3 times a day)

I'm tired, but my mind refuses to shut down during the night. So i spend my time on the computer, *click click click*

I just discovered that my brother has reinstalled photoshop on the PC. Oh!! I'm so happy! Even though i don't know how to use it properly at all. At least i can make my pictures just a little nicer.

An experiment,

Before




and

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After

Doesn't the effects make it look so much better? I love PhotoShop. Now, if only i would take the time to learn it properly. Imagine what i could do!! Muahahahaha

Feeling perkier after doing this, so i guess i will definitely go to school soon. If i go to bed, i will not wake up til dinner time again.

Thinking about my FYP, haiz... Headache again -bleahx-

*Cross fingers and pray* Please let my sup be in his office, Please let my sup be in his office, Please let my sup be in his office...

Mal de tête

Pensées préoccupantes

I totally zonked out last night,at 3 plus a.m. I didn't go for a run with Suyin, nor did i go to school. I was so out of it. Hahaha..

So anyway, thought of meeting up with Yilin. But i couldn't drag myself out of bed. I only pulled myself of my bed at dinner time, even tho i have been up for hours.

This is what i wore yesterday..

Can you see my boots? Not new, but i like them lots. Sorta look like those Gola ones, but wayyy cheaper.

I am so in love with my green beads. When i was in town yesterday, I didn't see many places selling them, and only one other gal was wearing a long one. Like the yellow one that i bought, but in black and white. I'm glad it hasn't caught on yet. Don't like having the same thing everyone else has.

Sooner or later i think this will become a trend? Maybe.. hopefully not *Cross fingers* But the selection is still rather small. Haiz.. I want more..

Couldn't meet my babe tonight, she got activated for a flight to Auckland. Too bad... I guess i got used to meeting up with her this few weeks. At least once week. i have come to rely on her quite abit. On her company and conversations. Support that she always provides. she always makes me feel better about myself. *Thank you Suyin*

Did i mention how worried i am about my FYP? I'm so so worried, i don't know what to do. I even frown when i sleep. (I woke up one day with 2 deep deep frown lines, between my eyebrows and i couldn't rub them out. Had to wait quite a few minutes for them to fade.. *Damn*)

Argh!!!! The feeling of continual anxiety is constantly overwhelming me. I may go out and play around, not going to school and all. But deep down, countless worrisome thoughts are plaguing me all the time.

I don't know what's going on with me. I keep thinking of things to buy, things i wanna get. Thinking and thinking and thinking... Why am i so obsessed with buying stuff? Only recently this has been bothering me. Usually, i will restrain myself from getting things. Then there will be a certain time that i can't take it, and i will spend abit more then usual.

This time, it's different. Since the day i went out with my sis, i have been wanting too buy lots of stuff. And i have bought quite a few. i have spent quite alot! and i can't afford to support this habit.

All the little things i buy, add up to quite alot! Haiz.. at this rate i will be utterly broke in no time. But.. i still wanna get a few more accessories and stuff before i totally curb my spending spree. Maybe i can try to eat less and kill two birds with one stone? *As if*