Imma druggie

My Little Pharmacy. Always in my bag

Buncha' new drugs from the Doc

Sick and tired...


I have been getting sick on and off for so many weeks.



My body is pathetically weak and abused. Late nights, junk food, cigerettes and of course the killer, stress.



Another victim of the dreaded F-virus.



To top things off, I had some sorta allergic(?) reaction about 3 weeks ago, which resulted in a atrocious breakout of zits on my chin.



No... not a breakout, an infestation. Literally a warzone right on my chin and forehead. 3 weeks later and I'm still sadly losing the battle.



Thus, I decided to take a leap of hope and spend a whooping $460.


Utterly broke and miserable.


I have drained my banks and my self-esteem is at an all time low.



Fatter and fatter, new clothes no longer comfort me.

Hurricanes are named after me.
I am strong. I am tempestuous.
I am the calm of Audrey Hepburn.
Before the storm of Charlie's Angel.
I may not be able to read maps sometimes.
But at least I can ask for directions.
I love shoes, one pair is never enough.
I can do everything Fred Astaire did.
Backwards and in high heels.

I am a woman, hear me roar.

Some pics, some rants, some stuff la..

Due to my overwhelming obssession with Transformers recently. I have sadly neglected many things. My friends, oppa, my body, face. My financial planning, etc etc..



But so difficult to stop ne!!!



Getting my Rodimus tomorrow, finally!! But have to hunt down a Convoy + Melissa again, coz Galvin don't wanna sell to me le :(



Anyways, got my Robot Heroes Movie wave from gal today as well. *Burn a small hole in my pocket*



Wah, I'm so pissed again lor. Didn't get my OT pay for July, again. Last month, didn't get for June. This month, June was included, but no July OT. Baka baka baka.



So money is really really tight. But tomorrow bringing my mama and sis for GNO (Girls' Night Out) on me.



Thank God Anu spoke to the agency and they promised to bank in the OT by this Saturday.
Seriously need the extra money to live on this month.



Another fucking depressing news, went to NSC today. Before I could even sit down, the doc told me "Have to put you back on antibiotics"



Sian... He said that my face very bad again. HAVE to take antibiotics to cure coz the creams are not working.



Grrrrreat!! I so wanted to lose abit of weight before oppa's sister's ROM this month. Now, I will gain weight instead. Grrrrrrr *bah*




You people with good skin, count your blessings, It really really sucks to have skin problems. -_-

It also sucks to have a mega huge pimple on your chest and having to cover it with a band-aid coz your necklace keeps brushing it. At work, your colleagues think it's a love bite. You prove them wrong, and they go "Eeeeee, why so big!"
That's why I covered it up in the first place ne.. -_-""""




Some pictures...

Black and White
*Lighting not so good la*



Me heart Ice Cream & Chocolate Fondue
*yummy*



My newest accessory
*Rodium Bracelet*

My Beautiful Hybrid THS-02B



and Hybrid THS-02



Tres Cool!!




My little piece of Transformers at work.
Robot Heroes ^-^V



New addition to the family.
Mei mei got them from Jap Fair

Tralalalala... Alot of people asking me to take pictures of my collection thus far.
But no proper display cabinet leiz.. Wait ok, have patience... :D



Really need to get the Optimus vs Ravage Robot Heroes to complete my collection :(



Hope I can get my paws on an Ultra Magnus Sports Label, titanium and Revoltech.



Ai! Ai! Ai! So many things, so little money.



Wanna take Jap classes and dance classes asap too! *bangs head against the wall*

Hurricanes are named after me.
I am strong. I am tempestuous.
I am the calm of Audrey Hepburn.
Before the storm of Charlie's Angel.
I may not be able to read maps sometimes.
But at least I can ask for directions.
I love shoes, one pair is never enough.
I can do everything Fred Astaire did.
Backwards and in high heels.

I am a woman, hear me roar.

Only got 100 years to live...

Can't sleep again. As usual...


Surfing the net and reading about other peoples' lives.


I feel so stagnant. So sick of doing the same thing everyday.


I think my old, old friends would be mighty surprised at the way I turned out.
Somehow, something went wrong, and I screwed up my life royally.



I see the people around me, the people I know. My friends, all looking more polished, more grown up. Making something of themselves.
I feel like a kid, I look like a kid. Get mistaken for one and treated like one. Maybe coz' of all my pimples?
Probably cause of my messy hair and laid back clothing.


2 dozen years old and still can't walk in heels properly. Most of the time...


I am envious but also blessed. I can get away with more outrageous fashion. More eclectic dressing. Just that I'm too tired and lazy to dress up or put in effort anymore.



I should be sleeping. I'm getting the reckless and restless feeling again.
That doesn't bode well..

Hurricanes are named after me.
I am strong. I am tempestuous.
I am the calm of Audrey Hepburn.
Before the storm of Charlie's Angel.
I may not be able to read maps sometimes.
But at least I can ask for directions.
I love shoes, one pair is never enough.
I can do everything Fred Astaire did.
Backwards and in high heels.

I am a woman, hear me roar.

Hello World

Flu again, getting better.



Lots of pictures from work outings but too lazy to upload.



Just dropping a line, to show I'm still alive.



Whatever semblence of a life I have..



Fat and spotty

Hurricanes are named after me.
I am strong. I am tempestuous.
I am the calm of Audrey Hepburn.
Before the storm of Charlie's Angel.
I may not be able to read maps sometimes.
But at least I can ask for directions.
I love shoes, one pair is never enough.
I can do everything Fred Astaire did.
Backwards and in high heels.

I am a woman, hear me roar.

Alexis I am not.

I'm in a bad condition. This month's cramps are killers!!!



I was so determined that I would not take any MC or be late for work this month.
All dressed up and ready to go work, but the cramps were so severe I could hardly walk properly.
Had to take baby, unsteady steps to the doctor's.



He prescribed me a new drug, hope this works better..



So disappointed. No 100% for me this month.



And poor Oppa, came down to fetch me to work, instead he had to be my support to walk to the doctor's and back.
Then he went home :(



I have a farewell dinner tonight. For darlings, Agnes and Man, who are leaving the company.
I really hope the drug works so I can make it for that.
I'm so sad that they are leaving, but as Tin said "That's Life".

My Colleagues
Can you see the addons? Lol

I need to lie down. My tummy hurts so bad. I hate being a woman on days like this.



I told Oppa, I wish I was a man. He went "eeeeee"



I asked him, will you still love me if I change to a man?



Silence



No



I said, but I'm still the same inside, you only love me because of my outside appearance. *I was being unreasonable coz of my PMS cramps*



He said, then I change to a girl lor.



I asked him, would you mind if your boyfriend is shorter then you?



We are so crap. :)

Hurricanes are named after me.
I am strong. I am tempestuous.
I am the calm of Audrey Hepburn.
Before the storm of Charlie's Angel.
I may not be able to read maps sometimes.
But at least I can ask for directions.
I love shoes, one pair is never enough.
I can do everything Fred Astaire did.
Backwards and in high heels.

I am a woman, hear me roar.

Under the weather

I have been out of sorts the entire day.


Feeling under the weather again. A lump in my throat, a headache coming on.


I'm sorry Oppa, for not meeting you today.


My tummy hurts. Kessie is acting up again.


Darn it

For you
♥

Hurricanes are named after me.
I am strong. I am tempestuous.
I am the calm of Audrey Hepburn.
Before the storm of Charlie's Angel.
I may not be able to read maps sometimes.
But at least I can ask for directions.
I love shoes, one pair is never enough.
I can do everything Fred Astaire did.
Backwards and in high heels.

I am a woman, hear me roar.

C'est la Vie, I hate food allergies!!!

Just got back from the doctor's.


I'm on MC, again..... *sighs*


It totally sucks! I do not relish being on MC again, but the doc says I have to say home.


When he looked at the inside of my lips he was like, "tsk, tsk, tsk" He said it's probably due to food allergies, so he prescribed allergy tablets and oralgel. I'm supposed to sat home so that it doesn't get infected/affected by environmental dirt and dust, etc



My lips are itchy and dry now, and I'm not supposed to lick/wet them with my tongue *bleahz*.



I feel so bad that I can't go work again. Sianz...



What to do.. C'est la vie

Hurricanes are named after me.
I am strong. I am tempestuous.
I am the calm of Audrey Hepburn.
Before the storm of Charlie's Angel.
I may not be able to read maps sometimes.
But at least I can ask for directions.
I love shoes, one pair is never enough.
I can do everything Fred Astaire did.
Backwards and in high heels.

I am a woman, hear me roar.

Tisha Campbell I don't wanna be!

My lips are still terribly swollen. I look and feel horrible and depressed.


Is it allergies? I don't know, I put wax on my braces last night, but this morning my lips were still extremely swollen!



Sorta like her



Except that she did that to herself on purpose.



I am so depressed. Please let it get better and never come back.


Hurricanes are named after me.
I am strong. I am tempestuous.
I am the calm of Audrey Hepburn.
Before the storm of Charlie's Angel.
I may not be able to read maps sometimes.
But at least I can ask for directions.
I love shoes, one pair is never enough.
I can do everything Fred Astaire did.
Backwards and in high heels.

I am a woman, hear me roar.

Breaking out!

No no no no no...........



I'm breaking out pretty badly. Shit, shit, shit...


My complexion was surprising clear the last couple of days, but today...



Horrible breakouts!! I'm feeling depressed again..



I think the bacteria is slowly regaining their strength again and all prepared to launch a battle..


Since my body's not in tip top condition, I'm definitely going to lose this one.


I will go back to work looking like a mess =(



Anyways, yesterday baby came down again... =p


He bought me this cute, cuddly, mega "slipper". You know, the green one that they sell at Mini Toons.
Kawaii ne!!



I told him that he had better stop it, or I will always wanna be sick.. Haha..


Thanks sweetie, I hugged it to sleep *grinz*


I'm taking solids now, so far so good.. But I didn't lose any weight at all! What a huge disappointment.. My tummy is just as flabby..


Gums still feel swollen and hurt a little.. I doubt if I will be very productive if I go back to work on thursday..


My face feels numb, really weird..

Hurricanes are named after me.
I am strong. I am tempestuous.
I am the calm of Audrey Hepburn.
Before the storm of Charlie's Angel.
I may not be able to read maps sometimes.
But at least I can ask for directions.
I love shoes, one pair is never enough.
I can do everthing Fred Astaire did.
Backwards and in high heels.

I am a woman, hear me roar.

Stuck at home

Oh my goodness, I feel so helpless!!!


Today is the first day I tried to go out by myself. I wanted to go to the bank to open an account.


I couldn't!!



Firstly, i couldn't find my ezlink, I don't know if I dropped it somewhere or whatever.


So I thought, why not just take a cab, it's quite nearby anyway.



So I got ready and went out. I pulled my muscle when I was going down the stairs. I was so disorientated. I couldn't even cross the road properly.


I kept feeling like I was going to be knocked down or something. I couldn't walk steadily and I felt like I couldn't keep track of my things. Like my keys and purse, etc..


In the end I went back home. It was a harrowing experience..



I'm still not ready, not fully recovered.. What a shock.. I didn't think that just a few days at home recovering would affect me this badly..



I'm now changed and back in my PJs, feeling alot more secured.. Eating ice cream, but even ice cream doesn't cheer me up..

I wonder if I will get better by wednesday?

Hurricanes are named after me.
I am strong. I am tempestuous.
I am the calm of Audrey Hepburn.
Before the storm of Charlie's Angel.
I may not be able to read maps sometimes.
But at least I can ask for directions.
I love shoes, one pair is never enough.
I can do everthing Fred Astaire did.
Backwards and in high heels.

I am a woman, hear me roar.

Bah Bah Bah

Fat Fat Fat *sian face*


Breaking out


Constipated *doubly sian*


Did I mention Fat?


*BAH*

Hurricanes are named after me.
I am strong. I am tempestuous.
I am the calm of Audrey Hepburn.
Before the storm of Charlie's Angel.
I may not be able to read maps sometimes.
But at least I can ask for directions.
I love shoes, one pair is never enough.
I can do everthing Fred Astaire did.
Backwards and in high heels.

I am a woman, hear me roar.

Baby Steps and Depression

I've got this mega huge cystic acne spot!


It's making me very very depressed and I had to cancel a dinner with my baby today.



It was horrible having to go to work with this huge, red, angry looking spot. I felt so conspicuous and scrutinized by everyone. Especially going to and fro from work. On the LRTs and buses, i just felt like all anyone could see would be that ugly red cystic spot! *bah*


Hopefully I can get a shot for it tommorrow. *crossing my fingers*



Anyways, been quite busy with work and all. Tired, tired, tired.



Still have reservations about the job but I will do my best and see how it goes. I'm still a temp, not sure when I will get converted. =/



Waiting for Uncle Wee to pass me the photos of the farewell dinner for the temps last friday.

I love DSLRs. Love, love, love them...



Oh ya, I'm going Genting!!! Yay! Baby steps... *grinz*


Hurricanes are named after me.
I am strong. I am tempestuous.
I am the calm of Audrey Hepburn.
Before the storm of Charlie's Angel.
I may not be able to read maps sometimes.
But at least I can ask for directions.
I love shoes, one pair is never enough.
I can do everthing Fred Astaire did.
Backwards and in high heels.

I am a woman, hear me roar.

I have been so lazy lately. It's not enuff that I'm still sitting on my ass all day. I can barely bring myself to do anything else besides mapling (Yes, I Maple!!) and eating..



Growing as fat as a cow, my hair is stringy and I fall sick very easily..



And my unhealthy obsession is not helping. It's getting worse. Damn

I have come to the end of my rope

For those who don't know. I have taken desperate measures and decided to see a zhong yi (chinese doctor).


After 3 appointments, 3 weeks of awful smelling medicine, $150+ and long waits at the clinic, I feel like slaughtering somebody.


It's not just the rigid diet i must follow. Basically no cold drinks, no cooling soups, not too much fried foods or biscuits. No fruits, no cookies, no rich foods, not too much meat, no white vegetables, etc etc.


TORTURE


From what the doc says, my stomach is very weak. So i get alot of stomach related problems. Lousy digestion, acne, pimples, constipation, etc. So he told me that he will target this area first. This will lead to all the other stuff clearing up. sounds logical. Yes. Theorectically that was what is suppose to happen.


Instead...


Last week (after the 2nd appointment) I was suffering from serious constipation! 5 days of no waste. OMG! and my face flared up because of all the toxin build up. My stomach was freaking bloated and i was eating more then ever, but nothing was being flushed out. Can you imagine. 5 days of sh*t stuck in your body!


So on Tuesday was my 3rd appointment. Of course I told him that i was seriously constipated. He was like, "I can give you something that will clear everything one shot, tonight. *Insert diarrhoa sound* (No kidding, he actually made that disgusting sound effect!) But it was cause more harm then good. I want to make sure your stomach is ok first. Then target other areas. This shows that your stomach is stronger already."



So he gave me another 12 days worth of medicine. $86 (So expensive, my savings are practically gone. The zhong yi, facials and cab fares after facials) and told me to eat oatmeal and prunes.



That's what i did, 6 prunes after breakfast every morning. And now i have another problem. Fucking flatulence and diarrhoa. Dammit! *Grrr*


I know i did not stick to the "diet" he prescribed. I still eat junk, in moderation. and I'm still fat.


Now I'm constipated, bloated and suffering from diarrhoa.


Someone has a sense of humour.

Ceci me tue

I spent the day watching Anime... Kawaii ne~



I feel very frustrated, partially due to my own doing. With other contributing factors as well.. It got so bad that i was suddenly overwhelmed by how awful i feel, and i cried like a fucking baby in the bathroom.



What's wrong with me?



I know, in a way I'm just making myself worse. But i can't seem to help it. Yes, i should be looking for a proper job but i don't want too..



I'm a immature, lazy biatch.



Make that immature, lazy, fat biatch.



So I'm making myself depressed and fat. The cycle goes, "eat chocolate, break out more, depressed" I eat and eat... My face is a fucking trailer park, littered with pimples.. *Bah* Then i look at myself and feel sorry for pathetic lil me. *ARGH*



I AM SO PATHETIC



I have nothing to be proud of. And i just can't let go of how unfair life is. I compare myself to people who have more, but not to those who have less. I gripe and moan and sit on my ass, doing nothing to work for what i might like to have. I wanted dance lessons, japanese classes but i couldn't get it. Some people get all the luck. I just feel that i deserve more. I try hard, i really do. But i didn't get it, it's just the luck of the draw.



My sis doesn't respect me. That really kills me. I have all these plans of working really hard to get her whatever she may need for her future. Possibly sending her overseas to pursue her dream. But she is soooooo... The way she talks to me, or doesn't. The attitude.. is getting to me.. I love her so much, but i can't seem to puncture her tough chick facade. Haiz *downcast* So many times i feel like giving up, throwing in the towel.. But i can't. Blood is thicker then water.

I just hope that one day, she may suddenly realise how unfair she is to me. And see how much i am willing to sacrifice for her. Just to make her love me back and show me respect. I guess i haven done much to make my family proud, besides getting my diploma. At least that's something.



My mama says I'm gullible. That made me really pissed. I am NOT gullible at all. I may act silly, even stupid sometimes. But she doesn't realise that i do that to make her laugh. Instead, she says I'm gullible.

The misconceptions that people have of me. I guess it's better then letting them see how i really feel.

I would rather people think me silly and bimbotic then know I'm feeling freaking depressed. It's an act. I thought that at least she would know that I'm smarter then that, but she doesn't. She worries for me because of what she thinks I am. Easily cheated, etc etc.. I guess my sis thinks that way too. Little do they know that i just wanna entertain them.

I do things to make them laugh.. On purpose.. I sometimes act act ignorant, sometimes... I'm the first to admit that my general knowledge is horrible, but I am not some silly bimbo ok. ARGH, whatever.. I don't care anymore. I don't feel like being nice and trying to make people happy or feel better about themselves. I try to do little things to show i care and in the end.. I get rudeness and ignorance.

Whatever



I just wanna get some stuff off my chest, at least i can sleep abit better tonight. I can't stand my own whining and griping anymore. I have to stop.



Him? Don't even go there. I am so unsure about what i want right now and not in the best frame of mind. I guess i take it out on him abit, and he doesn't understand me. It's so sad.. The person that ought to know me better, doesn't know me at all.

Did i mention that he wants to marry me? To him, that is what the future holds. I am so torn..


Enough of this.

Off for some therapeutic anime.


je me sens laid

Fly me to the Moon, please...

Hello World...


Been a nonblogger for quite awhile.
Life, in a word, atypical of a teenager instead of a mature young lady, SUCKS.. -bleargh-



Breaking out, rough rough skin.
Flabby and bloated.
Dry like straw, brittle.
Lazy eye.
Jean Reno.
Go figure..


So.. Stuck in a rut.
Self esteem at an all time low.
Need money.


Options:
1. Continue with AT
2. Full time Tutor
3. NIE
4. Free spirit


The problem with moi.. I don't wanna do stuff i don't like. I procrastinate. I think and think and think. But nothing gets decided.


Options:
1. Study


How?
Try:
1. Appeal for NTU (with a freaking 1.92 GPA?!!!)
2. SIM ($$$$$$$$$ )= )
3. Laselle, NAFA, Raffles Design (Talent?? $$$$ /:<)
4. NIE
5. Private 'A's


If only i had the money.. I am trying my best to save, save, save..


Feel so blah.. *Grrr*


I wanna better, trimmer, healthier me..
If i stop working will i be able to achieve that?


Should i blow 400 bucks on my skin?
New York Skin Solutions, is it good?


What happened to the old me?
Depressed.

Random

Been devouring lots of chocolate recently. A few bars a day.


It's not doing my skin any good, no matter what those fucking derms have to say. For me, chocolate does cause breakouts.



Going thru a particularly bad patch, self-esteem is at an extreme low and i am trying to hide at home.


Feeling fat and oily. I hate myself for not being more disciplined.


I only have myself to blame.



I have to find a job asap. My Aunt actually has a friend who is looking for a receptionist. But that damn place is in the East side, i don't think it's worth it to haul ass all the way there, for a temp receptionist job. So i turned her down.



Vivian got a job @ Creative. Meeting her tommorrow for lunch, i might consider applying if they still have vacencies.



My camera has just been sent for servicing, finally. I feel bereft without it. And i forgot to upload the pix from the Subaru challenge first. Damnz



Just a bunch of random thoughts. I have not been updating even tho I'm so free. Coz of my face and fatness, i just don't have the mood.



Caught Doom on monday, 3 popcorns. It's like Resident Evil cum alot of other movies.



Howard Lo gesticulates too much.



I'm hungry and bloated and constipated. Great, just great..


I fucking broke, really really broke.


I just spent quite abit on Saturday, even tho i know i shouldn't have.


I felt ostracised sometimes, i dunno why. Maybe I'm just isolating myself too much. I wanna meet my friends, but in the end, i don't bother to contact them at all.

Je me sens laid

ARGH!!! Dammit!!!


Had an interview today, which i was planning to go for.. But in the end, i didn't. Why?????


Coz my fucking face was breaking out in spots. Damn shitz.. No one will wanna hire me looking like this.


I think my skin is far too sensitive. Abit of dust or dirt, BAM WHAM! got rash or spots.


But thankfully Huiling's friend was understanding enough, so she sent me a form to fill out instead. Just had to attach my picture and IC pix. Thank you Xueying!


So i may have to start work tommorrow. Hopefully my face will get better by then *cross fingers*


Haiz.. i didn't take much of a break leiz.. Even tho this gig will only be for a week or more, i didn't even rest a week. Haiz.. Guess you just have to make some sacrifices la.


As we Singaporeans like to say, No money, no talk.