I make my life more difficult

What is wrong with me?

I don't know what i want
I'm 22 and i am still aimless
I have no ambition
I am too lazy to do the things i really wanna do
I have no discipline
I am wasting my life

I know there is something lacking
But i don't bother trying to find it
I am not satisfied
With any aspect of my life

I have no confidence
Where did it go?
Is is him?
What do i want for myself?
Us?

Low self esteem
No help
Hide behind a happy facade
Veneer cracking
crumbling at the edges

How long more?
Til the walls come down?

I need something, someone
What?

GOD HELP ME

Please...

Les rêves, la réalité ?

I woke up today, from a bad dream.


It was so scary because it was so real and believable.


It may actually happen.


He told me that dreams are the opposite of reality. So if it's bad, it won't happen.


I'm crossing my fingers.



So anyway, i didn't make it to work.. Sick.



There's this stabbing sharp pain at the top right side of my head. It throbs in unison with my heartbeat.


I realised that when i close my left eye and only use my right eye, the pain is more intense and frequent.



Scary



(Another onset of hypochondria?)



-0blique ill-
Save me from myself

Hello 2006

Goodbye 2005



Hello 2006



I spent the last hours of 2005 in a cinema with about 200 other people.. Watching King Kong!! Lol



The movie was, well... Funny, stupid and sad.. 3 hrs long, but at least i didn't fall asleep halfway =)



New Year's Day did not hold any special meaning for me actually. I spent it with my family,like just any other day... I guess if i went clubbing, or for a countdown, it might have had more of an impact =p



Most people would be posting their New Year's Resolutions.. Me? No thank you.. I would rather not make promises to myself that i can't keep...



Back to work tommorrow again.. It has been an all consuming part of my life for more then a month. It is now that i realise just how much has been going on outside, my friends, family.. that i have no part of, because i do not have the time. It's sad...



Babes, don't write me off as a No-Go without asking can? It will be difficult for me to make it. But it's nice to be asked.. Sorry that i cannot make the time to keep in touch.. But I'm afraid to upset this momentum. I am afraid that if i start my social life again, i won't have the mood to work.. So it's one or the other, until i manage to juggle both properly..



Have patience with me..



I love ya all!!