Beans, Beans, the musical food. The more you eat, the more you toot -*D!siLLus!on3d B!@tch*-: February 2006
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Saturday, February 04, 2006

What if GOD was one of us?

I have not blogged in ages.

Not because i do not really have the time, but more precisely.. I just do not feel like it.


My life is so mundane and aimless. Work, does not give me pleasure. But then, how many people actually enjoy what they are doing.


I have neglected friends and friendships. But at the same time, feel utterly neglected myself.


They are meeting new people, making new friends. Luck is going their way.. Why do they need me ya? But I'm just wallowing in self pity. Which is unlike me, but becoming more and more the norm.


I wonder where my personality has disappeared to? Where has my lust for life gone?


I'm stuck in a rut. The only person who can get me out is.. me. But i seem to have disappeared into myself.


I had another bad dream. Again, the feeling, the ominous and sinking feeling was there. A horrible, horrible tightening in my chest. I couldn't breathe properly.


So real, such a silly little dream. But why did it make me feel so so helpless. And when i woke up, i was clutching my chest, my heart. Was beating so fast.
Scary...

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